Don’t READ THIS if your’e not in the mood for childhood issues!
Let me run through my background and maybe the ‘real’ or subconscious reason behind this blog. I am a black female (kween – yes you dunno) of African-Caribbean heritage (Jamaica & St. Vincent), born and raised in London by a single mother who was entrepreneurial before we knew what that really meant! (#Hustler) But before that unfortunately or fortunately for me (depending on your stance), my mother had a rough start which impacted the type of childhood she could provide me at the young age of 18. In and out of prison, most of my early childhood (pre 7 years) my mother was often absent and inconsistent in my life. So I spent most of that time with a foster carer or with my great grandmother (my first love), a little disruptive and unsettled, not knowing where my mother was, was the state in which I learnt the lesson of ‘independence’.
My actual grandmother – my mothers, mother, had been deported to Jamaica shortly after given birth to my mum and left my mother with a white English family of 5 (in the 50’s!!) who raised her till she was 14. My grandmother never returned to England ever again! We will never know the reason for her decision to leave her child, what happened and neither myself or my mother ever met her. Hence this was a NOT a great start for my mum! We both unknowing learnt the lesson of ‘acceptance’.
My mother having had it hard, with no qualifications but armed with charm, a sharp brain and entrepreneurial spirit, started to abandon a life fuelled by crime and basic survival. She decided to go back to college, train and became educated and more affluent (especially compared to her previous associates). Some of her accomplishments were setting up a mobile video service, obtaining a degree and becoming the owner of a successful vintage clothes business. Unfortunately she passed away of aneurism at the young age of 54, before she reaped the benefits of her final success. However before then my mum had completely turned her life around and most of my outlook, resislence, strength, I owe to her and her go-getter attitude. Mother I salute you. From you I learnt the lesson ‘determination’.
When my mother did become a permanent feature in my life, like most teenagers we didn’t get on and when my sister was born, when I was 13, our relationship had completely broken down. However this was also due to an accumulation of negative experiences which I had encountered at a young age, physical abuse, sexual molestation I had already experience a childhood filed with pain, a time filled with anger, sadness, disempowerment, confusion and low self worth. I learnt the meaning of ‘helplessness’.
Luckily, for me I always had a a passion for life, martial arts, spirituality, and all my angels and guide’s helped steer me in the right direction. I learnt the lesson of ‘inner guidance’. #stayintuneandsoulful
Today, I am still learning, growing and developing but each year I am happier than before, of course shit may not have turned out like I planned but I made it to 40 and I feel liberated mentally, spiritually, physically. Give ThAnks!
I now live life to the full, my mother and great-grandmother ancenstrally guiding me, learning to seek support ‘it takes a village’ and I am blessed to have gained lessons about people, family, love & life.
Everyone has a sad story to tell, I tell you my bio not to make you feel sorry for me (although I’m still accepting donations for therapy), but so that you can see real blessing come from real lessons.
So regardless of what others think. Do you!
Live IN-JOY, and BE-YOU-TO-FULL
Stay Intune and Soulful
Naomi x
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