Ok well…not quite! But as a Wellness Coach, Counsellor and all of the other wellbeing guises I wear, in my world self-love is a hot topic. Ok again…not quite…What I mean is that the symptoms of low self-love or a lack of self-love such as, insecurity, self-loathing, self-criticism, or worthlessness is quite commonplace. So think of me as your Self-Love Warrior Ninja Queen on a Mission!
Whilst self-care continues to steadily rise in popularity, especially with the PR of mental health, self-love is still trailing slightly behind, like the younger annoying sibling, often dismissed and undervalued. However just like self-care, practicing self-love is equally if not more essential, we may all know that they are intrinsically linked, but sometimes we can gain the knowledge without fully applying it. Like buying a slinky size 10 dress doesn’t means it will actually fit!
Ok so…what am I talking about exactly?!
We may be quite apt at creating a long list of self-care activities and all very much needed I may add, such as taking a relaxing bath, going for long walks, getting a massage etc, all feel-good, mood boosting activities and vital acts of self-kindness. However, we can and do get carried away with ‘just doing’, happily ticking off self-care to-do activities without ever addressing deeper aspects of our self-love, or relationship with ourselves.
Self-care ‘doingness’ without self-love embodiment or ‘beingness’, becomes just another microwaveable, quick fix, bitesize chunk or form of ‘busyness’ (leaning more into our masculine, yang energy of productivity) rather than connecting with our core being (feminine trait, yin of intunement). Again, helping us to feel good, but albeit slightly outbalanced energetically, denying us of the beauty of holistic balance, personal evolution, spiritual growth and life transformation. Never truly understanding why we still may feel unhappy, unfulfilled or void, despite material wealth, or being in a loving relationship, not fully comprehending that these infrequent acts of self-care without actual self-love are short-lived offering only a temporary relief.
I am sure these views won’t make me popular in the self-love guru stakes in fact, if you’ve met me, my outspokenness or realness, can be like marmite love it or hate it, it still exists and is usually rewardable….eventually! Sometimes for our own wellbeing and higher purpose we have to keep it real & 100! No sugar coating, swallow the hard pill, get the tissue, Vaseline…well you get my drift.
The non-marketable aspect of self-love that they don’t want to sell, is that to go beyond than just self-care, may reveal parts of us which have been buried, hidden, repressed, connecting to the heart chakra, that may still require healing. The part of us that this digital, millennial, fast paced, on-demand, swipe left, no longer values. The part that a self-care band-aid can’t fix, until we finally (if ever) decide to take off the plaster and examine the wound.
The long old adage of self-love, which equally annoying but still rings true is, ‘you can’t love someone until you first learn to love yourself’. No matter how hard you try to avoid this, many of our love experiences maybe wrapped up in attachment at best, possessiveness at worst or endless quests to feel complete, whole, be fixed! Some of our love disappointments may also be associated with our longstanding limiting beliefs about love, our love myths, false expectations and misconceptions. I myself have identified 7 self-love myths which help to shift some of the falsehoods in my #7DaySelfLoveChallenge, I’m sure you have some of your own.
With so much unlearning, it can be quite challenging trying to fully conceptualize what love actually is, treating it as an emotion rather than an energy or state of being, confusing it with lust, attachment, caring gestures, words and acts of kindness which yes maybe by-products but not always. It’s also often misconstrued that self-love will always feel good, be rewarding, where you walk round in a cloak of happiness dropping self-love petals everywhere you go! Sadly, it isn’t. Self-love may involve saying NO, yes in caps, upholding your boundaries, not taking the easy road because you understand it isn’t beneficial for you in the long run.
Self-love, on the one hand is a journey of discovery, revelation and magical insight, but on the other involves healing, peeling off the layers of pain, trauma & unaddressed needs.
In short (lol I got there:) your journey through self-love involves self-awareness, acceptance, compassion and confidence embodying, voyaging through sometimes painful experiences and breakthroughs to experience an abundance of love, joy, acceptance, empowerment, peace, healthier relationships, insight, clarity, wellness and vitality! Like any journey worth voyaging on, the benefits are endless.
Self-love is the new relationship goal and your only love language.
I love the quote ‘self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time.’ It sums up how badass self-love can truly make you feel.
So, I challenge you this year to embark on your own unique self-love journey. Prioritising your needs, boosting your self-care and upholding your commitment to yourself. Step into your inner power, your joy and experience the beauty and blessings of self-love. You matter, you are worthy!
Self-love is truly the greatest love of all. Say it loud and proud – I am love!
Until next time… Moor Love & Wellness family
Naomi x
Ps. For more info & support embarking on your self-love journey or to join our Self-Love Pamper Club click here.
MoorYoni.com 