You cant control the curve balls life throws you, so you have to learn how to control yourself and change quickly to make sure the curve ball doesn’t knock you out. Mark Edwards
Can you believe it – I finally did it! All the worrying, the build up, the journey, sleepless nights, blogs. Its finally over! I’m free… 🙂
Although I’m still in slight disbelief… I just cant believe its over… I have learnt so many lessons about myself and life. My biggest lesson is even when you try and prepare for almost everything, still be prepare for the unexpected. As life may throw you some curve-balls to keep you in check!!
Okay let me explain, the last few days before the fight I was trying to have a perfect week eat right, sleep right, train right. Some things were working such as 3 special people investing their time to support my training efforts. But I was receiving some spiritual lessons I was unaware of, e.g. my house was not in the best shape, I didn’t have the greatest food in and my fight head still wasn’t 100% turned on.
Curve-ball 1: the day before the fight, was hectic, took my son football early in the morning then had to rush to a presentation where one of presenters wanted to purchase my book so I felt obliged to go, we got back late, exhausted and not really in the right mind to cook a decent meal. This was so unlike me I’m virgo and super organised. Right now I was like – whatever!
Curve-ball 2: I received a call at 9 pm from my instructor who had only now decided to check on some last minutes bits (no gum shield for my son !!!) which slightly panicked me and I can honestly say didn’t help my disorganized feeling.
Curve-ball 3: during the night my wonderful daughter despite having slept all the previous nights relatively unsettled, decided to wake up the world and its dog with her crying several times. It was in the early hours of the morning and I couldn’t get back to sleep, I started to panic as this was the main and clear instruction I had been given in my call earlier – get rest. For the life of me I couldn’t sleep and although I wasn’t consciously thinking about the fight my nerves still were keeping me up. Just when I started to doze of my daughter woke up again. I admitted defeat and moved into the front room, still feeling like whatever, what can I do. A few hours later I was woken up again by my text from my instructor which I didn’t read until the morning.
There were three text to say to get there later than planned which was a blessing. – I was still like whatever, again really unlike me to deal with this last minute changes.
Curve-ball 4: when I arrived at the gym, my instructor wasn’t even there yet and the place was already full, buzzing of energy and chatter. It wasn’t helping one bit so I decided to go outside to chill and in which case some people decided to come with me which was slightly frustrating as I really wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
Curve-ball 5 :Oh I nesrly forgot to top it off, I was peeing and shitting non-stop (sorry TMI) which I’m told is the body purging itself in the flight or fight zone and my stomach was continuously doing somersaults and I was desperately trying to relax.
Anyway my son and I weighed in and I was disappointed to find I had lost NO weight 
despite my regular training. Whatever.
I rightly decided after having a great convo with a friend who told me the message she had been given was ‘chaos’ and I should embrace it. This helped me go and sit with the other fighters and absorb the atmosphere in a more positive way. There were fighters lying down, some sleeping, listening to music, others talking, some doing shadow work By now everyone is sizing up each other, fighters checking each other out. I then noticed a young girl who was quite tall with a sturdy frame, we smiled at each other as I thought is she fighting or supporting a fighter. I looked around at the other female fighters who unlike me seemed cool calm and collected (well on the outside). I now had my headset on loop, listening to a 4min motivational video which I was desperately trying to subliminal fire me up!
As my 11 year son was also fighting in the same show (it’s a family affair) we had decided to not watch each others fight. In fact I was instructed not to watch his and I didn’t want him watching mine just in case I became distracted and got knocked out lol.
By now it had been a couple of hours and two of our junior fighters had been up and had done really well and plus I received glowing reports about my son which was lovely. But I still wasn’t sure who I was fighting – my eyes caught the young girl again and chance had it we both had to go downstairs. As I noticed her height l commented, which sparked a brief conversation. She seemed lovely.
Okay your probably getting the hint, I cant hold it in any longer eventually I was told I was fighting her! Yes the same tall young girl. I instantly became thrown off by her size I’m 5ft 4 and tall girls definitely have an advantage and her weight was obviously heavier than me but due to my genetic heritage (cough Afro-Carib) I got back and thighs, apparently also puts me in the heavier category. I didn’t really think too much about her age. But I also saw her do a little pad work which didnt seem overly impressive so I may have thought oh ok cool. (I was sooo wrong curve-ball 5 and half)
Curve-ball 6: – I was 2 fights away from mine, and was then told she had asked for no head shots because of her age. Now let me tell you as much as I understood (I also have children) I am a head shot girl my main weapon of attack. WTF Talk about last minute curve-balls!
Anyway now I was very eager to get onto to pads as the adrenline was dripping off me and I need an outlet. I thoroughly enjoyed pads and felt focused.
As I walked downstairs to get ready for the fight – my nerves were totally erratic, I felt zoned out. I was kept in a holding room , slightly annoying as I had to wait around some more but now in the earshot of the current fighters and crowd. As I was finally being led out the room, I was aware of my name being called out, my heart beating fast and very hard. I kept my head down and avoided getting eye contact with anyone and got into the ring.
Well let me tell you as soon as the bell rang she gave me a strong push kick which sent me back her way of telling me this girl came to fight! She was intent on clinching me and throwing me to the ground and I was intent on not being thrown down. So a struggle pursued
Whilst in the ring (there were 4x 1.5min rounds) it felt like I was super aware of everything that was happening, bodily sensation she was the aggressor and I was desperately trying to ‘up’ my game. But my legs felt heavy, my body felt weak and all the while she came getting me with her push kicks, which was depleting my energy and making me panick.
Curve-ball 7: – I found out she was southpaw an unorthodox position which would explain me feeling like I continuously was walking into her kicks.
Curve-ball 8 – my cardio went into shut down and it was like I was fighting for breaths and smoked 200 fags a day! I definitely NEVER expected my cardio to let me down as that is what I had focused on the most as I said I wanted it to help me through. (My worst curve-ball of them all)
Curve-ball 9 – not being able to use head shots meant I had to rely on my legs which I rarely do, my kicks are my bonus. So my weakest weapon was being used to become my strongest.
NB. These curve balls are my lessons.
Although I will say she was the aggressor, I still as my sister said ‘held it down’ and gave as a good as I could give, and even managed to get her onto the floor instead of me going down. (My only claim to fame) Luckily for me a friend had filmed it and after viewing it, no I won’t be posting it – sorry! I realized I actually hadn’t done as bad as I felt, although there were many things I should have and could have done.
For one, there was one time she was out of breath just standing there in front of me hands down, one of my brains said ‘attack’ the other said ‘rest with her’. Yeah Yeah, I chose the latter! Whatever.
Finally I wish I could lie and say it was a breeze but it definitely wasn’t and hasn’t been. It was very hard and the rounds felt like 7mins long. But I am proud I have finally faced one of my BIGGEST fears and got in the ring in front of everyone and even appreciate that I had an opponent who was at a slight height and weight advantage, had youth,was southpaw etc as it showed me that it doesn’t matter how much you prepare (which is still very necessary) no one is exempt from life throwing you some curve-balls (aka lessons).
It’s about how you handle it. NO I didnt quit and YES I could have done more but I did what I could with what I had at the time. That was and is definitely good enough for me.
Onward and upwards!
MoorYoni.com 