Well, the fighting training continues and for those who haven’t read my previous blogs at the moment my whole life is about the trials and tribulations of my first novice fight.
I’ve have been through the biggest emotional roller coaster in a longgg while and have met many sides of myself that have made me wonder – who the hell am I! My last issue was that my fighting switch wasn’t turning on, well I can honestly say it is definitely starting to flicker lol.
Physically I am getting stronger although I must say until a few days ago I was saying the opposite, I felt like the more I trained the weaker I got. My training is 2 Muay Thai sessions (2-3hrs), a 5 k jog and some pad work/misc session, and Fartlett training that I can arrange ad hoc somewhere in the park with the kids. It might not seem a lot but trying to fit it all in and having time to recover has been mentally and physically challenging.
My children are adapting but even though my 18mth year old daughter hasn’t got a clue what is going on, I’m sure she will be happy to see the end of this and mummy piggin out in a big mess on the sofa!
Well anyway I have been getting fitter and more confident in understanding my flaws and knowing what I need help with and I must say between me and you I haven’t felt a 100% supported by my camp/club. I get the feeling my instructor (Kru) thinks I shouldn’t really do this and that I might embarrass the camp. My ego is feeling bruised and hurt at the lack of love but I am using this to spurr me on and hopefully prove them wrong.
Sometimes you got to use that fire or negativity to your advantage to motivate you. So all those Doubting Thomas’s can kiss my toned, round slightly perky but definitely juicy arse.
Okay I digress… I recently enlisted the help of a Muay Thai instructor as I realized I need that extra help and attention. It was awesome to have someone work on my needs and show me support 🙂 He suggested I go to another club for sparring experience. OMG I went (today) and the ladies were off the chain. There was one Chinese fighter who I tried to smile with and asked several times if we could spar – she politely grunted but was not interested. She was knocking down men like that were flies, looked hench and mean. I was like oh shit!
Then I had the pleasure of sparring with a slim black lady who must have been trained by Muhammad Ali as she was floating like a butterfly and her fast and quick moves stung like a bee with PMT! Their were others but these two stood out. I heard the black lady mention she wanted to take part in the same show as me and that she’s only had one interclub fight!!!
At that moment I prayed hard to God – pleaseeeeee don’t let either of the be in the same show let alone be my opponent. You know when you start panicking and thinking of excuses why you can’t… cough – I feel so sick- do it- it just came on suddenly- must be an overnight flu- strategies to get out of it.
I actually thought was it better or worst that I saw these ladies to know what I was up against or should I have just stayed ignorant and innocent? With one week to go this caused a new level of anxiety that had been screaming for my mummy and a bottle of milk.
What actually helped was I spoked to another fighter who suggested I work on some tactics based on my experiences and then I also remembered that I feel this journey is bigger than me and that I have been guided towards it as part of some unfolding or next level. Surely it cant just be for a blog!
See you on the flipside..
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