Well for the past few months I have expressed that I would like to enter a Muay Thai amateur’ fighting competition to inspire and motivate other forty year old women and mothers, that your’e never too old to fight and be fitabulous. (Come on you’re already fighting through some days anyway!)
Up until this week I think I was living in a bubble! I expected my training schedule to resemble Rocky-Ella (female version of Rocky) and that I would rise triumphantly to the challenge without issue.
I actually thought my most strenuous activity was running in the torrential rain that occurred where I was soaked (see pic above) but then went home to devour this lovely salad. Yum!
#Eatcleantrainhard
How wrong was I?!
I think I have trained so hard in a short space of time, more than my body could ever ever imagined. That this last week, which is supposed to be fight week (5 days to go) although I haven’t been matched up I have peaked or plateaued! Not sure which.
I am physically, mentally and emotionally worn out! Last week I think I was starting to feel it slightly, this week I am totally fed up, cant be bothered, demotivated and want to forget the whole damn thing! There is something about feeling like your obligated to do something because you have to, compared to doing it for pleasure knowing you can stop whenever. Ironically its not just because of the grueling training schedule which feels like everyday bar a couple of ‘rest days’. Where I was just training 1-2 x a week lightly.
But the reality is I have an 11 year old on school holidays and an energetic and demanding 1 and half year old and I am single parent, trying to fit in an intense training schedule, as well as entertain the kids and fulfill all their bloody needs in between the usual life admin. The award goes too…
My day:
Today I woke up slightly exhausted from the night before, where my daughter occasionally cries out ‘MaM, so my sleep was broken as usual (violins please, I said please). My son also starts secondary school for the first time in 2 days so we went to the crazy shopping mall with all the crazy shoppers plus my daughter throwing tantrums in every shop, just to add a little near crazy. Managed to grab a Mc Dutty meal – yes judge me whatever (closes thing to me and we was hungry). So there goes my healthy eating (New Day New Dawn). Now I’m feeling irritated and guilty and wanna leave this terrible place, to go home and continue tidying (hooray). Then realize my son has football practice which clashes with my training/class which I so don’t want to go to. But realize this is my last opportunity until proposed fight. In the end I leave my son to go football, drag my daughter and my tired body to go training for 2hrs!
On the way I continually re-assess and re-evaluate why am I doing this, do I want to do this, I’m so tired, I wanna lie down, I wonder if my son is okay, i’m so tired I wanna lie down, is my daughter hungry, I’m so tired i wanna lie down, my lifestyle is not equipped for this, How old am I, why have I set this as a goal, in between me telling my daughter to stop screaming and my body and thoughts saying I’m so tired, I wanna lie down! lol
I drag myself into the class and begin to practice all my excuses not to train, however I can’t as the class has started, so I go into auto mode and just begin to train. Skipping and skipping, quite literally the tiredness rolls off to be replaced with some energy boosting endorphin’s, I begin to think ‘okay lets just do what I can’, as I start to feel the stress release and fall to the ground. I think actually despite my day, just being here is an accomplishment especially with my daughter (who has now woken up and it is interfering with my training) and so what if dinner is toast! Also the help and support of some senior (although younger) students is wonderful and I’m starting to feel loved and supported (as well as myself, not mum, just me).
I may not be Rocky-Ella but I feel as fitabulous as I can be and its reminded me that we have the opportunity to start again each day. The future is today’s present. Tomorrow I will make up for the crap I consumed and fill myself with positive vibes as well as give myself a pat on the back 🙂 It may not of started great, but come on if I can do this you can frikking well too!
Ps. I’ve just found out ‘I’ve been matched! #shitjustgotreal
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